Five Ways to Know You're Going Bald

Losing your hair can be devastating to your confidence. A full head of hair suggests to women that you're still young and healthy. It doesn't matter if it's hereditary baldness, poor diet or a deadly illness, it all sucks. There are a couple of tell-tale signs to let you know if you're going to be a baldy. Check out this list I made, and ask yourself do you fit into any of these categories.



Meet and Greet

A first impression is everything and you want to look your best. If the comb over doesn't work, it's best to just shave it all off. Something like an interview can be a make or break situation. It's easy to tell if you're going bald. If people keep looking at the top of your head when you're talking, you've got a problem. Try not to put on too much lotion on your forehead, especially if you have oily skin. I hate to break it to you, but you'll be a walking headlight.

Morning Madness

The morning time can be one of the worst times for baldness. If you look in the mirror, and it looks like you sold your hairline to a pair of clippers, then you sir are going bald. Your hair in the morning is doing its own thing, and sometimes it can be hard to manage. Training your hair to grow on command is very effective. Practice it in the bathroom mirror, and just scream curse words at your hair. Fu**ing grow already!!! I promise you won't look crazy.

Shower Power

Nothing feels better than taking a nice hot shower. Hair needs to be watered, otherwise it can't grow. Just be aware what's going on with your hair in the shower. If you look down in your bathtub drain, and it looks like you're housing Bigfoot, you're going bald. There shouldn't be that much hair in the drain damn it!!! All that hair just jumped ship, it's okay, you don't need them anyways. Cowards!!!

Christmas Cheer

The holidays are a wonderful time to take your mind off of balding. Together at last with the people you love, or so you think. Your family is sitting by the fireplace, and you're opening your gifts. If the majority of your presents are Rogaine, Hair Club for Men coupons, or any other balding paraphernalia, then it's safe to say you're thinning up top. This can happen to anyone, so be sure to let you family know you're balding, and you're not a charity case. That will show them to mess with you!!!


Old Friends

Meeting up with people from high school is a scary thing. Now that you're balding, you don't want them to know your secret. If you meet up with old high school friends and they say, "You look different," something is wrong. Let me explain, you look different is code for " You look like sh*t." Don't let them get away with that, give them a sob story about losing your hair. Tell them you need $20,000 for a new a** to head hair transplant. They'll be coughing up their loot in no time. Hey, what stinks!?